You have a dream. You want to earn $1,000,000. You want 4 kids. You want a prestigious job. You want the Master’s degree. You want your wedding to be Pinterest perfect. You want to lose 30 lbs. You want rock hard abs. You want to stop binge eating or dieting or talking crap about yourself.
No matter what you want, in order to get it, you’re going to have to give up something.
There’s always a tradeoff.
Unless someone literally drops 4 kids off on your doorstep or hands you the master’s degree. And even then, I’d argue that getting those things would change your life in a way that something would be pushed to the wayside. If you suddenly had 4 kids overnight, you’d have less free time and certainly less money. Having the Master’s Degree in hand might get you the job you’re after but how long will you be able to keep that job if you didn’t actually earn the degree? Your lack of skills in that area will show eventually.
If you want something, you have to work for it. And if you’re like most people, your current life doesn’t have much room for making that goal happen. We’re all busy, full of excuses and tired. It’s easy to say, I can’t do X because I don’t have Y. But some people do make it happen – even though they’re busy and tired and make excuses of their own sometimes.
If you want rock hard abs or to lose 30 lbs, you’re going to have to make the time to exercise and eat properly. The time won’t just appear. You’ll have to swap out something else you are doing (TV watching, Facebook browsing, social time, laundry etc) in order to fit in the stuff that will help you get there. Is it worth it?
If you want to prestigious job, you might have to work extra hours, attend events that bore you to tears, take extra classes and kiss ass. You might get the job but the trade off is time with your friends, family and time for yourself. Is it worth it?
If you want that Pinterest perfect wedding, you may need to hire a wedding planner if you’re not crafty – which means you may have to take on an extra job to pay for it. If you are crafty, you’re going to have to find the time and energy to plan, shop and prepare all your fancy shit. The trade off will be time and money. You may not have enough of either as it is. Is it worth it?
If you want to stop dieting, binge eating or beating yourself up emotionally, you’re going to have to stop indulging in old behaviors. You’ll have to actively work towards changing. It takes practice and awareness and time and trial and error. To get there, you’re going to have to give up eating for comfort, stuffing down your feelings and believing that you are broken. The trade off is giving up all the things that keep you where you are. Is it worth it?
I know right now you’re saying “Of course it is!”. Of course, what you want is worth it. I’m not questioning that validity of your desire. I am questioning whether you know that you’ll likely have to give up something to get to where you want to go. In most cases we can’t have both. We can’t stay where we are and also go somewhere different. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t lose weight and binge eat. You can’t outrun a shitty diet. It’s always a tradeoff and yes it is usually worth it – but you have to decide if you can commit to the sacrifices that your goal will require. And be consistent about it.
You’ll never have the body you want if you fueling it primarily with foods that don’t nourish or satisfy. Are you willing to trade it in for good nutrition?
You’ll never have the relationship with your body that you’d like to have if you keep thinking about yourself in negative and hurtful way. Are you willing trade it in for kindness?
Think about what you really want and then list all the things you’ll have to do to make that a reality.
What do you want in your heart of hearts?
What are you willing to give up to have it?
What are you not willing to give up?
Where can you make room in your life for this goal?
Now, I’d like to know, what are you working on? Is there a goal you’ve been working on but not making progress on? Could it be that there is a trade off that you haven’t allowed for? Share in the comments or if you want to look into where you’re getting stuck, contact me soon to do a Discovery Session.