When it comes to making big decisions in your life, are the answers easy and clear for you? Or is it exhausting trying to figure out the right path for you? If you feel like you don’t really know what to do most of the time it might seem like everyone around you just instinctively knows the answers to big questions like what should I major in?, Should I stick it out at my job or look for a new one?, Should I move in with my significant other?, or Should we have a baby? But the truth is, there are more of us who struggle with making big decisions than those who don’t.
Why is it so hard to choose? Well, we get overwhelmed by the pros and cons of each. We’re afraid that if we chose it will be the wrong choice and we’ll forever regret that we didn’t chose the other way. We worry if it’s the right time or if this is really who we are. We worry about succeeding with either choice. We worry about failure. We feel conflicted between choosing what we want vs. what we think is expected of us. We question if we even know what we truly want deep inside.
I’m tired and anxious just thinking about it, aren’t you?
So what do you do when you have a big decision to make and aren’t sure which way to go?
One thing you can do is talk to friends or family about the decision and hashing out your thoughts on either choice can be a big help. Sometimes just hearing yourself talk out loud is enough to sway you in a direction. Sometimes feedback from people who love us is helpful because they see parts of us that we may not be able to recognize ourselves. And sometimes feedback from those same people isn’t very helpful since everyone has an opinion (and sometimes their “stuff” gets in the way of what’s right for you) but it can bring up deeper feelings inside you that might be revealing. Writing can also be incredibly eye-opening when you’re going back and forth on something. Writing can helps you to see what you’re thinking about, where the balance is falling and if there are any red flags to watch out for. Writing privately in a journal is a space where you may feel safe to bring up things you wouldn’t in conversation. Doing this can really uncover your true feelings.
What if talking with loved ones and writing about our feelings doesn’t help? Don’t fret, there is still something that can help – Meditation. You’re probably thinking, but I thought meditation was for relaxation? It is but it’s wonderful for so much more. Meditation has been incredibly helpful to me when it comes to making some of the biggest decisions in my life (including quitting my job and launching into the coaching field).
Why will meditation help you with decision making? Deep down we are intelligent intuitive beings who have all the answers we need inside of us. It’s true! We really do. Sometimes we get clouded by external (media, parents, societal pressures etc) and internal (our own thoughts) distractions but your soul has an answer for you. You just need to find a way to access it! Meditating can help us access those answers because it quiets the chatter going on in our bodies and minds and it allows those deep intuitive feelings to rise to the surface. It’s an amazingly effective way to get clear and refine your focus in any part of your life.
A few minutes of quiet contemplation, where you focus just on your breath and the question at the forefront of your mind and you’ll often know what to do when the session is over.
You’ll know you’ve reached the right answer when what comes up feels like it is coming from your heart – our true place of knowing. If it feels wishy-washy or immediately wants to contradict itself, the answer is probably still coming from your mind. Settling in for a longer meditation session may help you go a bit deeper. How do you know it is coming from your heart? It will feel confidently true. It will feel like something you just “know”. The doubt will move aside.
Do you want to try meditating on a big question? Here’s a free 1 Day Meditation for Decision Making that will walk you through it (save it to your computer for later). If you want more meditation tools like this, I have something that can help you go deeper!
When I chose to leave my desk job and start my own business, I spent time meditating on the decision. And when the answer finally came (on 4th of July weekend), it came from my heart (and I walked in and gave my notice that Monday). Yes, I was scared and worried about how or if I would make it all work (the details) but deep down I knew that this was where I was supposed to be. Meditation helped me stop focusing on the “noise” and the anxiety that was preventing me from stepping out of my comfort zone.
Do you have a meditation practice or want to start one? Share with us in the comments.
Finding clarity is just one of the many many benefits that can come from starting a daily meditation practice. Earlier I mentioned that I have a way for you to go deeper if you are interested in learning more about meditation – it’s my 28 Day Spiritual Cleanse program which starts on June 1st. In this program, you’ll learn all you need to know to start an enjoyable and effective meditation practice but at an unintimidating beginner level! We’ll go day by day and build on our knowledge step by step so that at the end of the 28 days you can move seamlessly into your own regular meditation practice (because you’ll already have developed one!). There are 3 levels / options for participation. You can read all about them to see which one is right for you here.
Ps. I’m offering a special discount for early birds who purchase the program before May 20, 2015 at 11:59pm but you have to be on my email address to get access to the discount. Sign up in the green box below if you’re not already a member!